2009 in short.

<sup>All I am is truly thankful for His faithfulness this year. I look back and wow. He answered my prayers in His divine way. When I was lost He lead me, when I was broken He healed me, when I was blind He comforted me, when I doubted but for a moment He prevailed and left me in awe. When I saw battles that were too big He took me through them and built me up. In the moments there were no answers but faith, He opened my eyes to hope at the exact time I called for help. When I felt incapable, unprepared, and unworthy He lifted me in His Spirit and used me for His great Kingdom. Last year I encountered a God too big to contain, and this year He is calling us to see that He is even greater than we think in the present. The Lord is worthy of our lives, He is so so worthy.


1</sup> I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise.

² I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.

³ When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted.

⁴ May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD,
when they hear the words of your mouth.

⁵ May they sing of the ways of the LORD,
for the glory of the LORD is great.

⁶ Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.

⁷ Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes,
with your right hand you save me.

⁸ The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138

It is a joy to live for your Kingdom. To have the honor of being a part of Your family. To have you care for my every need. When I saw darkness and you filled every corner with Your light. Thank you for your faithfulness.

-blessed

Strength

I found this a while back and thought it was a cool view and also just a kind of reminder that God has different eyes than the world does on the definition of beauty and strength are.

A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape…
But a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything…
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the better of her…
But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future…
A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalizes on them

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face…
But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey…
But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

{one of my favorite verses}
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Be encouraged

Today is Yours

Lately I've had the thought of how fragile our bodies are. By God's grace I get to live another day. Life is a precious gift and then we are gone. And that may be heavyhearted but because I am aware of this I am able to rejoice in the present. My prayers and soul have been moved incredibly through the many suicides that have happened this weekend. I cannot imagine a more horrible evil. In this world there is such evil and without the LORD it consumes. Destruction is the way of the earth. I LOOK UPWARD to the heaven and my heart cries out to be with Him. We are lost and beaten. but WITH the Lord, the power of death is conquered. Our battles are WON. When we wake up and as we are sleeping our every battle has been won. Power and strength are found in the living God. We are weak but He is so so strong. My heart aches for the people that have not found life yet!! How can I keep this to myself. How. Lord you have risen from the very grave of death. Won't you raise your people!!!

I cannot see I cannot understand but I have the power of the Holy Spirit and with Him I overcome.

"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises into His wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

We need you Father

Love is born

Christmas is coming and I have never been more excited. As I've grown I've gotten less excited for the things I did as a little girl. Yet I am as joyful as I was when I was 6 on Christmas eve looking at the lit tree and all the unopened presents. And if it was the traditions that I looked forward to so much I wouldn't even say it is that that excites me as much as just simply being with family. Point being that my surroundings, conditions, and expectations of what Christmas looks like has evolved these past years being away from home. There is an unchanging grace remaining in Christmas that wants to flood our hearts.
This month is the most perfect month. The most hopeful. I wonder why everyone wants another to experience this time with all holiday events and decorations and family- people just want somebody to hold and to love and i would say the feeling and longing for love stirs in everyone's hearts right about now. But could it be because this IS the month of love?! It truly is. This is the month Jesus was born into the world for us. This is when we have meaning to live for. This is when we have eternal life. When we become free from everything we were born into. SO free. This is the sweetest time because there is hope and love and new life.
The night before Christmas this world was so lost. Unto us a SAVIOR is born!!
Thank you thank you thank you.

Lets make it a point to love people like we have been so unconditionally loved.

MORE

I have never felt so compelled to pray. For any and everything. The Lord loves us so so intimately. The Lord has been with me in my rock bottom moments. He knows everything my soul lives through. Because of His presence He has made my weakest moments the sweetest one's I will remember. To think about how He has rescued me tugs at my heart as if there is a flood of joy ready to spill out. There is so so much more going on than our eyes can see! There is just so much more to have faith in. So much more to persevere for. So much more to excite us. So much more to learn. So much more to share. So much more to give to. So much more than what we can expect. Be encouraged that we live for a DEEP and RICH love!!

Comforter

Okay, so loneliness is good. and it's good to admit one is lonely. But if that is recognized, I have learned to seek out where this feeling comes from. I do believe there is a right to feel such a thing but I also think it is a feeling that should be examined. If we have eyes that see and can see our desires, what a sweet thing that the Lord would show us exactly where is it that He can heal us. I wonder sometimes if any person will really have the patience to get to know my heart truly, or if I will have the oppertunity to get to know someone's heart so closely and genuinely. To simply truly know someone and to mirror the way God has unconditionally loved me. It's good to be blind and to not make plans in my heart that God has already set out Himself. I gladly entrust myself to His mighty hands. This is the kind of loneliness I believe is the kind God uses to check us and remind us that He is the ultimate Comforter and that there is fullness of joy in HIS presence.

John 15:14-16:

"You are my friends, if you do whatever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants (slaves); for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called you FRIENDS; for all things that I have heard from my Father, I have made known to you. You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you."

God chose us completely and so He wants EVERY part of us. He is not satisfied with just having a little bit of our heart. Not content with sharing a little bit of my life with me. He has no limits on His time with me. He wants all of us, He wants to know, listen, speak, celebrate, walk, comfort, share Himself with ALL of us. What an incredible thing that the God of the universe isn't satisfied with just part of me, THANK YOU LORD!
In return, I seek ALL of Him. I will not be satisfied with just part of Him, I will run fully after everything You are. I will not be content with giving You a little bit of my life, a little bit of my heart, but I will give it all to You because you love me enough to want it and die for it. I want to know ALL of You.

With these thoughts, I would just say that if you are feeling lonely, to seek out what it is you are lonely for. Because the Lord loves and wants ALL of you so lets run after all of Him and let that satisfy us fully. This is the prayer of my heart.

A mysterious simplicity.

This is simple, but I know sometimes what I need is simplicity. To be still and know that He is LORD. To have faith like a child is a command of simplicity. How then, is this impossible to grasp His love for me in my human knowledge? It is. Praise the LORD it is.
I am in awe of His wholeness in a broken people. Not in the slightest deserving but in everything seen through the eyes of a perfect love. I did not know how dead i really was before Jesus Christ gave me a way to live. Now I can live in a grace that covers more than I am even aware of. To be able to approach the throne of the holy God in confidence, I will never understand. Praisepraisepraise from the overflow of my heart.
"He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.
23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."

Whisper

Okay. Today was beautiful. The smell of the fall/winter air is one of my favorite things in the world. It's the divine things like the beauty surrounding me that keeps me. I've wondered many times what I would be doing if I had not met Christ, and there is no answer that brings peace. Why would I keep living each day? What is there that is even worth striving towards that has any lasting reward? I put myself in that place often enough to know that I continue on with Him each day and I could not do anything without the Lord. I am capable of nothing on my own. I can keep myself busy, no problem, but in the times I truly listen are the times I truly hear.
'Allow Him to develop the plans of your heart and mind, and let Him accomplish them. Therefore if you desire to hear God's voice, never consider the final outcome or the possible results.' -Streams in the Desert.
So lately I've been walking out in darkness but it's then I am stilled to hear His voice. I rejoice in HIS power and HIS strength in my weakness.
I can't see, so I must hear.
"After the earthquake came a fire... And after the fire came a gentle whisper." 1Kings 19:12